Today is the first day of Lent. In my faith this is a period where, as part of our spiritual practice, we choose to give up or take up something of meaning for the next 40 days. While there are different opinions and perspectives on the true meaning of Lent, I choose to use it as a time to refocus on my values and recalibrate my spiritual compass.
Lately things have been pretty challenging for me on a number of fronts. I’m grateful for the abundance of work coming my way right now AND it’s been super stressful and tiring to be on the road so much and away from my critters. I’m blessed to have experienced an amazing connection with a wonderful member of my soul family AND heart broken to have had it ripped away so fast due to circumstances beyond my control. I’m privileged to offer support to friends who are going through their own personal versions of hell AND suffering alongside of them can be draining. I’m relieved to have started doing some deep work to resolve the grief I carry in my heart – especially since my Dad’s death a couple of years ago – AND it has stirred up a hornet’s nest of emotion with connections to so much other unfinished business, which is exhausting, scary and plain hard. At this point, my brain can tell me all it likes that all of this is part of a grander story, and that I’m exactly where I need to be but my heart hurts, I’m afraid and I’m tired. To be honest, there are days I’ve felt so overwhelmed and depleted that I haven’t wanted to get out of bed… I hate to admit that I have found myself falling into a trap I have Strong Opinions about (and will be posting on shortly) – that noxious, sneaky Victim mindset. Wait a second! I’ve chosen almost everything I’m dealing with right now and, even if I haven’t chosen the circumstances, I still retain my ability to choose how I respond to them!
So what does any of this have to do with Lent? Well, it’s a timing thing: I’m going to take the opportunity to use the next 40 days to “give up” my attachment to specific outcomes and to “take up” a commitment to trust the process (and in that, God/Spirit/the Universe). Sounds so easy right? In a word, surrender. Not a concept that naturally sits well with a hard driver and a control freak like me!
It’s going to take mindfulness, acceptance, a willingness to “lean in” to the tough stuff, and a million conscious choices: to focus on responsible self care (including setting and respecting boundaries, prioritizing what I take on according to my values and not just my bank balance; eschewing junk “comfort” food in favor of nourishing REAL food, and so on); to send blessings and good energy to people and situations without taking on their energy or being defeated by things I can’t affect; to be aware of my how my body supports any given mental state, and to adjust my body language accordingly (this great TED talk reminded me of how our body language is also part of our self talk, and that our neurobiology can be shifted as a result of how we hold ourselves physically). When those dragons of fear and depression start snapping, I know I have the tools, the capability and the discipline to choose a more constructive mindset, so this year Lent is about walking the talk. Because the only way I am going to be an instrument for the greater good is to be a living example of the principles I hold and espouse.
Lately things have been pretty challenging for me on a number of fronts. I’m grateful for the abundance of work coming my way right now AND it’s been super stressful and tiring to be on the road so much and away from my critters. I’m blessed to have experienced an amazing connection with a wonderful member of my soul family AND heart broken to have had it ripped away so fast due to circumstances beyond my control. I’m privileged to offer support to friends who are going through their own personal versions of hell AND suffering alongside of them can be draining. I’m relieved to have started doing some deep work to resolve the grief I carry in my heart – especially since my Dad’s death a couple of years ago – AND it has stirred up a hornet’s nest of emotion with connections to so much other unfinished business, which is exhausting, scary and plain hard. At this point, my brain can tell me all it likes that all of this is part of a grander story, and that I’m exactly where I need to be but my heart hurts, I’m afraid and I’m tired. To be honest, there are days I’ve felt so overwhelmed and depleted that I haven’t wanted to get out of bed… I hate to admit that I have found myself falling into a trap I have Strong Opinions about (and will be posting on shortly) – that noxious, sneaky Victim mindset. Wait a second! I’ve chosen almost everything I’m dealing with right now and, even if I haven’t chosen the circumstances, I still retain my ability to choose how I respond to them!
So what does any of this have to do with Lent? Well, it’s a timing thing: I’m going to take the opportunity to use the next 40 days to “give up” my attachment to specific outcomes and to “take up” a commitment to trust the process (and in that, God/Spirit/the Universe). Sounds so easy right? In a word, surrender. Not a concept that naturally sits well with a hard driver and a control freak like me!
It’s going to take mindfulness, acceptance, a willingness to “lean in” to the tough stuff, and a million conscious choices: to focus on responsible self care (including setting and respecting boundaries, prioritizing what I take on according to my values and not just my bank balance; eschewing junk “comfort” food in favor of nourishing REAL food, and so on); to send blessings and good energy to people and situations without taking on their energy or being defeated by things I can’t affect; to be aware of my how my body supports any given mental state, and to adjust my body language accordingly (this great TED talk reminded me of how our body language is also part of our self talk, and that our neurobiology can be shifted as a result of how we hold ourselves physically). When those dragons of fear and depression start snapping, I know I have the tools, the capability and the discipline to choose a more constructive mindset, so this year Lent is about walking the talk. Because the only way I am going to be an instrument for the greater good is to be a living example of the principles I hold and espouse.
My question to you is: how can you use the next 40 days to improve your life? You don’t need to be Christian or observe Lent, or have any spiritual or religious belief system – but you can start NOW…
Taking it up with you. Beginning with God’s question to Adam: “Where are you?”. I’ve been running so long…and hiding. Time to stop, listen, wait.
I feel exactly like this: “At this point, my brain can tell me all it likes that all of this is part of a grander story, and that I’m exactly where I need to be but my heart hurts, I’m afraid and I’m tired. To be honest, there are days I’ve felt so overwhelmed and depleted that I haven’t wanted to get out of bed… ” I shift between optimism to take on the challenge before me, wanting to run away, and being on the see-saw of “Do I really want this or not”? It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s just a short term stress reaction. I want to be my authentic self – perhaps that should be what I take up in the next 40 days. Being a truth teller and not hiding my thoughts and feelings (the productive ones!).