Aviate, Navigate, Communicate: An Aviator’s Guide to Life Change (Part 3 – Communicate)

Once you know where you’re going and how you plan to get there, commit to it. Part of committing is communicating it to others who will be joining you on the journey, can help you, hold you accountable and support you as you travel. This is even more critical if you are taking this opportunity to change direction and follow a different path to the one you just left. Writing down your destination and goals is a big component in accountability. I’ve heard of research that indicates people are more inclined to do something if they’ve written it down as a commitment. I know for a fact that when you do something that engages your body (like actually writing something down), it tends to be more “sticky”. It’s also a fabulous way to clarify your desired outcomes – write them down, share them with someone, don your alligator skin, then ask for feedback from mentors and/or coaches you respect and refine based on that… rinse & repeat. Until it is crystal clear and resonates to your core. You’ll know you’ve got that resonance when you all of a sudden can’t think about anything else; when your new path hangs in front of your eyes and you have to peer around it to see anything else.

Speaking of coaches and mentors – communicating includes asking for help! Your friends, family, former colleagues… indeed, your entire network is right there in front of you, so reach out and ask for what you need. If you’re moving into a new direction in your life, you may also need to invest in building your network. Don’t shudder at the thought of the dreaded “networking” activity – it’s really not that bad if you realize that all you’re doing is building community. Be reassured – real networking is a reciprocal connection activity, not a sleazy “get something from everyone I meet” thing. That’s its own post, so I’ll leave it at this for now: ideally you already have a well cultivated and reasonably extensive network of friends, acquaintances and colleagues online and/or offline. Start by re-connecting. Build on that by engaging and reciprocating (share information or knowledge you have, make introductions for others). And then, when you’ve established some credit as a bona fide community member, don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

Asking for what you want can be tough – I’m not sure too many of us are all that great at it when we first get out there and start doing it. But, as the old saying goes, “if you don’t ask, you don’t get” so this is definitely a skill to master! One key here, as with giving feedback, is to take the emotional charge and “neediness” out of the request. Detatch emotionally from a “must have” outcome, simply make the request (politely, in a non-combative way and with a positive expectation) and then let it go. You’ll be surprised at how often people will respond in a helpful and affirmative way. If it’s hard for you to ask for what you want, start small with requests that don’t have a lot of emotional charge, and as you see results you’ll find it easier to ask bigger and bigger. This is part of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries too – if you can’t clearly articulate your intentions and requirements, you’re going to find people can’t respect them. Help others help you by communicating clearly.

Did you know that the words you use can actually have a tangible effect on your body and your trajectory for succes? Even our body language impacts our attitude and altitude! So be careful – what you consistently say and think to yourself becomes your reality. It’s a big deal. Be on the look out for negative or defeatist language and consciously choose to reframe things in a more constructive way. It’s a new habit you’ll need to develop, and building the neural paths to support it will require diligence and perseverance, but I can guarantee you that positively shifting your self talk will positively impact your outlook, concretely and emotionally. I’m not talking vapid, Pollyanna-type happy-happy-joy-joy here, I am saying you have a choice as to how you encode your reality. We tend to do that linguistically. Make good choices is all.